Ask Dr. Mitch-Working Mom in Porn

Dear Dr. Mitch,
I really don't quite how to start this, so I'll just say it. I'm a mother of a 6 year old child, and I'm a porn star. I have been working in porn for two years before she was born, and found it to be a wonderful means of support and savings as well. Of course I took a year off while pregnant and a few months after to get my shape back. I know it all sounds great huh? Well, there is just one hitch, and you do address it in the "Porn 102" that's on the aim-med.org website.

I really thoroughly thought it over about being a mother in porn before I decided not to have an abortion. However now the time has come to where it can get "sticky". I worry about how to tell her about "Mommy's work". She is now wondering how come she can't come to work with me like other Moms and Dads. I'm afraid she will say something at school, and some Right Wing Whacko will think that I'm unfit.

Let me say that I've never, ever had porn in the house, and to look at me I just look like another LA Soccer Mom, one would never know. I"m not promiscuous and don't sleep around outside work. There are not a lot of "Uncles" hanging about the house, no drugs, nothing scandalous at all. But what if someone recognizes me at the PTA? Can they call DCFS? Perhaps their opinion of me is that I'm an unfit Mother just because I do porn. What am I supposed to do? Stand up and say "I pay my taxes and it's a legal living, like it or not"? Oh, my mind goes to the worst places. I'm on my "schedule" and I have two more months before I quit if I stick to my original financial plan. Dr. Mitch, even if it is in the past, can I be punished by law? I'm not and never will be ashamed of anything I have done, and would want my daughter to have the same ethics, however I am in a quandary. Please help.
Signed, Mommy Dearest.


Well M.D. Thanks so much for having the courage to ask about this. I'm sure there are quite a few dancers, or other actresses that are in your same position on this issue. Yes, we do address this in our prevention education. The fact is, anyone can call the authorities for any reason they want. However, proving that you are an unfit Mother won't be the most comfortable situation you have to address, but it is not illegal. And no where on any law book that I know of (and I asked our attorneys) does it State that a Porn Star = bad parenting. In fact it sounds as if you go to great measures to keep your occupation away from the home. Always remember, just because you are happy and proud about your occupation, others will not be. In fact they will shame you, accuse you of awful things and worse. Ignorance is a terrible blight on society. However so is fear. I do not like the tone of you living in fear simply because you are a good mother, and support yourself and your child in a occupation that you enjoy. Everyone should be so lucky. I'll bet the percentage is low pertaining to how many Americans enjoy their job. I'll also bet something else.... the type of person who would "call DCFS" on you probably has more in common with you then they know. You are a citizen who pays her taxes, and has good, civil minded morals. You need not defend yourself to anyone as you have done no wrong.

Now as to explaining your job to your daughter, you may want to wait a little while on that. You have two more months until you retire from Porn. That means you have either saved your initial goal figure, or finished your education and have a new career waiting. Or both! Either way, you can still tell her that Mommy's work is "just for grown ups". You can tell her in time when she will understand, and you are not rushed, or tempted to state that it was "something you had to do". It was your choice all along. And it sounds as if you have always made good choices my Dear, just follow your heart.

Love, Dr. Mitch